And you know what? It's okay. To feel bad about yourself, about your actions, and about your worth is human. Some of it comes from your perception, some from abuse, and some from micro-aggressions. A lot of people may compliment you and can be very sincere about those compliments, but you probably still won't believe them. And you know what? That's because you don't need compliments. Compliments only reinforce the idea that you're not ok, that something must be wrong with you because you can't see what other people can. Compliments can send you right back into that depression loop. What you need is permission to have low self-esteem, permission to be negative.
If you have low self-esteem, people will call it unhealthy. They'll say it needs to be corrected. That you'll never be worth anything because you don't think you are worth anything. And honestly, how narcissistic do you have to be to think that the way you treat yourself is all that matters, that if you change the way you treat yourself, your whole life will change? It doesn't work like that. Consider people who exercise and lose weight to become healthier or to look good. Some of them still don't feel good about themselves even after they accomplish their goals. You need more than achievements to feel good about yourself. Sometimes, society is literally to blame and our social norms need to be reconsidered. Why is being fat considered to be so bad? Why are fat people stereotyped as lazy or worthless? HMMMMMMMM.
Low self-esteem has numerous variables, and there is not one single cause. So if you're suffering from low self-esteem, don't blame yourself because odds are your low self-esteem came about from a lot of different factors, not just because of the way you acted.
|From Dharma Comics|
Sometimes we can get so caught up in our lack of confidence or lack of self-esteem that we think it means we're incredibly worthless. We are not worthless. We are human: fragile, vulnerable, and fluid. I don't think anyone else can state this better than Brene Brown. Sure, low self-esteem can cause complications, but I think the biggest complication is caused when we think we should be someone we are not, stronger than we actually are, and fake "confidence" more than we actually have it.
So, please, the next time someone comes to you and says that he or she has low self-esteem, give the person room to feel that. Complimenting them won't help, and most likely, they won't believe your compliments anyway. They'll just assume that you're trying to be nice and not telling the actual truth. Instead, give them room to breath, room to be. "I have low self-esteem." "Yeah, I can understand that. Life can be difficult and gets you down sometimes. It happens. It's okay. It's not wrong to feel this way. I'm here when you're ready to talk about it."
Low self-esteem is not forever, and it shouldn't be treated like it's a disease.