Our Spanish teacher warned us about the reading quiz coming up. He said that the questions would come from the ones that are after the story in the book. So, I read the story, answered the questions, and studied them. When I took the quiz, however, my brain went, "Aw...crap." The questions actually came from the introduction, which I glanced at but didn't read or study. I'm pretty sure I looked defeated as I turned in a paper that only had one question answered (out of three) and a giant sad crying face. I'm lucky I didn't burst into tears right then in class, though I felt them creeping up to my eyelids, daring to come out. So...how did I handle this catastrophe?
Well, first I called myself a failure, which wasn't productive at all. However, it was the truth. I failed to realize how much work I had and to structure my time properly. Owning that made me recognize that I had to do something. I knew I was having problems in the first place, and after bombing the first quiz, there was no doubt that I was struggling. So, I thought of all my options: trying more time management ideas, dropping a class, going to tutoring...Honestly, trying to keep the class made me think that I would eventually lose my mind. I had three classes on Tuesday and Thursday and got home at 6pm...I didn't have ten hours to dedicate to one class. However, I still felt really horrible about the decision I knew I had to make. Giving up was my only option, but I didn't like it. It meant I had to give up my Spanish minor also.
I only felt a little better after I talked to one of my teachers. He said that he also had a similar situation, and honestly, he didn't regret dropping a class or a major. In the outside world, no one really cares about your degree or your minor. People don't judge your worth on what you did in college. They judge your worth on what you can do for them.
So I dropped the Spanish lit class like that sucker was a hot potato. Sometimes I miss reading Spanish and being in Spanish class, but I'm much happier that I dropped it. I relax a little more, knowing I only have four hours of homework instead of 14. Regret isn't on my mind. And next semester, I'm only taking 12 hours and plan on using up all the free time I can get.
Senior year, so far, has sucked. A lot. It's been one of the most miserable years that I can remember besides high school sophomore year. Hopefully, I can turn it around and make it better, especially by reducing my work load so I don't lose my sanity. In the words of Shania Twain, "Up, up, up. Can only go up from here."